big love

��� What you need to know for starters is that I am not going to moan about my impending hysterectomy. I do not feel sorry for myself. My uterus gave me two amazingly wonderful, smart, funny, kind-hearted children, now adults; itapos;s done its job well, and I am grateful.

��� While I am not a full-fledged, Keeper-using, moon-worshipping hippie-type, I do have some Earth Mothery tendencies, so my instinct, when I started having menstrual issues a few years ago, was to embrace my bodyapos;s changes, to rejoice that all was happening as it should.

��� I became anemic because of my heavy periods, and the anemia was so severe that I began suffering from depression, or should I say that the people around me suffered, because depression makes me an angry, four-letter-word spewing bitch. When the regular anemia treatments didnapos;t help, my hematologist put me on weekly iron infusions a couple of times a year, but right now that isnapos;t even helping.

��� When my periods became intense - that dull ache, followed by floods and thick clots - I saw a holistic doctor rather than submit to the hysterectomy my ob/gyn recommended. For almost a year I lived by the lunar calendar, alternating flax and primrose capsules, and it seemed to work for a time.

��� In 2007 I was told again that I should have a hysterectomy, but I was determined to let nature take its course. Anyway, I didnapos;t really trust the ob/gyn or the APRN, because...well, because theyapos;re always so ready to chop-chop-chop, and I preferred to stay intact.

��� At this point, however, I have decided to go ahead with it. I am at the mercy of my menstrual cycle, and sadly, so are the other teachers in my department, who are on the alert several days every month to cover for me while I�tend to my bathroom emergencies.�

��� A recent ultrasound shows that I have numerous fibroids and polyps, some quite large. My uterus is the size of one thatapos;s 12-16 weeks pregnant. And my anemia has drained me of all energy. I spent this weekend asleep, mostly, to make up for all of those other weekends when I am too busy to sleep.

��� So -� I am scheduled for surgery in a few weeks. I tried to arrange it so that I am missing the least possible amount of school, plus I�need a few weeks of iron infusions to build up my blood levels before the operation.

��� I looked around the internet for hysterectomy blogs but most of what I found was anti-hysterectomy, anti-doctor, and I am trying to keep a positive outlook about this.

��� Some of the positive things:

• ��� my daughter will no longer have to listen to my TMI�announcements every month
• ��� the anemia will be gone
• ��� the perfect excuse for not doing Christmas (not that I have ever needed an excuse)
• ��� time to get caught up on reading and DVD watching
• ��� lots of money saved each month on tampons
• � � time with my kids and my dog

���




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So I got one of my Sims to become a plantsim (and then proceeded to lose that game but whatever...whatever... My keyboard can totally smd for having the 3 and the Q keys so close together.)

At anyrate... I think plantsims are kind of ugly so do you guys have any cute replacements for them? I tried looking up on mts2 but they only had like 1 replacement skin that wasnapos;t very cute at all and nothing for hair that I saw.

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exemples

Weapos;re going to a Packer game today Whee Itapos;s my first one. Iapos;ve been to COlts games before, but this was in the 80s and 90s when the Colts were... Um... Well, terrible. Letapos;s face it, Indiana? Not known for football.

But our Best Man (and best bud) gave us tickets for a wedding present, so today we are all schlepping up to Lambeau to see the Pack play the Colts. (Dan also informed me that I *would* be attending as a Packer fan. I almost changed his mind after the Favre incident, but the adopted state won out over the native state. But being as Iapos;m at best a lukewarm football fan, I kinda feel like I get to see my team win no matter who comes out on top today.) Iapos;m really excited - I actually woke up early on a Sunday.

Except for one thing, and this is the truly, deeply, gut-wrenchingly embarrassing part.
I keep thinking "Damn, thereapos;s no way weapos;re going to get back in time to see True Blood at 8..."

*hangs head in shame*


(I canapos;t help it Eric is going to be in tonights epi And also, naked Stephen Moyer hello)

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Sydney Marathon Clinic 10k. Was a bit warm, course was good with some hills, though it was very apos;concretyapos;. I apos;spose thats what you get when the course is in an industrial estate. Ran slightly faster than last week at 68mins (8.76km/h). Pretty happy, Iapos;ll probably end up joining their club. I beat the same guy I beat last week. Everytime I overtook him, heapos;d speed up again. About 1k out from the finish I put on a big surge and he couldnapos;t keep up. He didnapos;t look happy lol. God Iapos;m evil >:3

Next week is the 7 bridges challenge walk (25km). Youapos;re not allowed to run, so itapos;ll be slow but a guy at work did it in 4 hours so thatapos;s the time Iapos;ve got to beat. Not that Iapos;m compeditive or anything ;P

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bucket camp scout

Mad money spent this weekend, thanks mom. Joie* sweater, amaaazing comfy. Marc by marc jacobs wallet clutch thing that I copied from bekka. Diane von furstenburg blouse, gorgeoud. Marc by marc shirt and tank blouse. J brand black skinny jeans, and brightest blue top. Def not getting anything for christmas which is okay, haha.

Mom agreed to let me get a tattoo when we get home so I donapos;t have to sneak and get another one here. Excited, now I have time to figure out what I really want. Home tomorrow.

Cameron called me last night and was so sweet. Weapos;ve been together for longer than heapos;s been with any other girl, cute. Heapos;s coming to atlanta with me for thanksgiving break, excited.

Sitting in bloomingdales while mama tries on too many clothes. Exhausted, craving sushi and jamba juice, weird combination. I am so happy here in this freezing weather, donapos;t want to come home except for like cameron and hannah only.

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LAST DAY YAY

yes i will be unemployed, and yes i will be, yet again, an official bum. But, dammit, iapos;m free free

Iapos;M FREE
And thus ends this 2.5-year tenure as illegal recruiter resident bullshitter the company psychologist.

Sit still and wait for the chronicles of frustrated job seeking.

To celebrate I shall be taking part in the Powerbooks sale, ending today. And for the next few days (yes, days. I cannot bum around forever) I shall be catching up on my DVDs (Well, hello there, Futurama and Dr. Who DVDs. We should catch up.).

Oh, glory.

Thereapos;s a strange sense of calm after youapos;ve given up your last shred of dignity.
- Malcolm (Malcolm in the Middle)

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atupid

my supposed entry got erased, i hit the save and publish button but well, thank you netopia for an efficient service, the internet sucked up and refreshed the page, turning my entry into nothingness... Thank you very much for making my day... Luckily, i have nothing to do, so i might as well, do another one... In my "dead-long-gone-entry" i was talking about trying to get past the backpacks and slingbags... Im still hooked up with the after college blues and somehow im trying my best to act like some professional person. But i still dress like some bum at times when I go to malls and swing my sling bag on my shoulders when i feel like it�on some school day. Im not yet used to dressing up in our teacher uniform, which by the way , i dont want to get caught wearing by any batchmate. People i meet on the way would always get shocked when i tell them that im a teacher and my landlord and landlady have always been amazed by the idea that i already work and yet still look like a� student. Itapos;s nice to look back on those days of attending classes and chatting with classmates especially now that my world has been turned upside down. I aint the student anymore but the one who stands infront of them and instructing them what to do. I can no longer sleep in class or go out whenever i feel bored or skip class. I have somehow transformed into someone cautious and with limits, especially when little watchful eyes and ears turn on me. I no longer�wake up dreading to�attend some major subject but i wake up thinking about my students and whatever i would teach them on that day. �iam not the one who calls the teacher but im the one� being called now.� i have been recently stuck on the bus in charge of a bunch of primary students on a school field trip, and this is the first time in my life that i have suddenly longed to go home after just a few minutes. I could hear the words "teacher rose�" like every minute. When we got to this clubhouse, my boys were running loose and they would shout to me and pretend to jump in the pool. I spent the whole time running after them, calling their attention, making sure they dont get bored and praying that nobody gets hurt. After we got off the bus at the end of the day, i almost kissed the school ground and thank god that it was all over. I was literally worn out and spent from a dayapos;s tour. But it was great, being able to handle that amount of responsibility, i have to say im a little proud of myself there (hahaha).. Makes me feel a little bit like an adult... Oooh well... Bottom line is this is a new world for me and im still adjusting to it while missing "rose the student"... But well, itapos;s life, we got to move on and just have fun along the way... There are still some mornings when i want to wake up to the chill of the baguio breeze and peek out the foggy window in titaapos;s house but i guess lately there are more mornings when i wake up and i think about those kids... Those kids who could suck up all your energy in just one go and yet you wont be able to be truly mad at them especially when they show you their "cute puppy eye look" (or the cute puss in boots look in shrek) which could really get into you...

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